The Project
Recently I came to a realization that wasn't exactly new - I consume too much entertainment, art and information, and I create far too little. As in, lately, I've been creating almost nothing.
As a child and teenager I wrote, drew, collaged, sang, danced, spent hours making mixtapes, painted, and even produced odd skits on the playground. In college I continued writing, collaging and occasionally dabbled in other arts. In my 20s I wrote and edited zines and began acting. In my 30's, living in South Korea I became a director and producer of plays and acted in plays as well. I wrote and performed at spoken word nights. But by the end of my time in Korea my creative time had started to erode. Part of it was increasing responsibilities at my university job, but part of it was also how I began dealing with the stress from those responsibilities. Instead of taking my worries to the page or stage or even the noraebang (singing room) I increasingly started numbing myself out with TV and, more insidiously, the internet. Getting my first smartphone in 2016 only exacerbated the problem. I vowed not to become one of those people with their nose in their phone. Then I became one of those people.
I left Korea due to a major episode of anxiety brought on by the Gyeongju earthquake of September 2016. It wasn't really a major earthquake, but what I read about the earthquake (and Korea's building codes) combined with the sheer feeling of loss of control brought about by the ground shaking underneath you, by your home shaking underneath you, caused me to lose any sense of calm. I couldn't go to work; I didn't feel safe inside my house. It was a long struggle to sleep every night and I was terrified taking a shower. Eventually, I ended up sleeping in a tent. Clearly I had to go home.
Back in the States, I had time, money (thanks to my pension and help from relatives), but still I wasn't creating. I felt a loss of a sense of self coming home from Korea in what I felt was disgrace. I'd left my university job, left all the curriculum I'd built, the new textbook I'd written, left my friends, left my creative community in Busan where friends are still putting on inspiring theatrical productions and spoken word nights. I felt like a loser. And surely no one wants to partake of the art of losers, right?Gradually, as I went into therapy, I started making a collage or a bad drawing here and there. I began journaling. But more often than not, I watched TV, I read books, I went to art galleries. But I didn't make much art.
A year and change out from leaving Korea, and closing in on 41, I've come to the realization that if I don't make a major shift now, I may be left with a lifetime of regret. If I want to be an artist, I have to make art. If I want to be a writer, I have to write. And time is precious. So I can either binge the next new show on Netflix or I can write a short story. I can't do both at once.
I still want to consume some culture, of course. Reading can inspire writing. Movies are sometimes like old friends. TV is just plain fun. But I need to drastically change the ratio. For that reason the idea came to me to create/consume at a ratio of 75/25. So, for example, for every 45 minutes I create something, I can consume 15 minutes of a book, TV show or movie. I didn't do the math before coming up with this ratio - I now realize it's going to take a lot of writing if I want to watch even one episode of "Black Mirror" - but that's fine.
THE RULES:
1. I'm defining CREATING as: writing (fiction, non-fiction, personal letters, journal, blog, notes on Facebook [not a short post]), visual arts (drawing, collaging, painting, even coloring with crayons, photography, crafting), performances (theater, singing, dancing [singing and dancing at home may be counted if they are done to practice for quality or as art]). I don't knit, crochet, etc. or I'd count that. I'm debating including making baked goods, but I'm not sure yet.
2. I'm defining CONSUMING as: watching TV/movies/news/Youtube videos, listening to podcasts, reading books/magazines/newspapers/social media feeds and comments. I haven't decided whether to count art galleries as consuming yet. This is mainly because I do it rarely enough that it doesn't seem to interfere with creating things and because I'm almost always inspired to make something after leaving one. It's also a good social activity. We'll see. Listening to music doesn't count because for me it never really interferes with creating. If there aren't words it's easy to write or collage at the same time. If there are words I'm usually singing, which I count as being creative.
3. EXCEPTIONS:
- Work is a free space. On breaks at work I can consume, because the breaks are too short to really create anything anyhow, and reading in particular helps the day go by.
- Optional 10 minutes a day of Buddhist/self-help reading is allowed because it supports mental health.
- If I need to look up information on my smartphone related to logistics, events, recipes or health, I can.
- I can also look at recipes for a reasonable amount of time for meal-planning and preparation purposes.
- I can check my e-mail and respond to it. I can read messages or letters from friends.
4. DURATION - for now the month of December. At the end of the month, we'll see how we're doing and adjust as needed.
Anyway, this is my program. Wish me luck! I'm hoping that I will end up creating a lot of great stuff this month. At the very least, I think not being on the internet all the time will be beneficial to my life. If you have any comments or questions feel free to drop them here!
As a child and teenager I wrote, drew, collaged, sang, danced, spent hours making mixtapes, painted, and even produced odd skits on the playground. In college I continued writing, collaging and occasionally dabbled in other arts. In my 20s I wrote and edited zines and began acting. In my 30's, living in South Korea I became a director and producer of plays and acted in plays as well. I wrote and performed at spoken word nights. But by the end of my time in Korea my creative time had started to erode. Part of it was increasing responsibilities at my university job, but part of it was also how I began dealing with the stress from those responsibilities. Instead of taking my worries to the page or stage or even the noraebang (singing room) I increasingly started numbing myself out with TV and, more insidiously, the internet. Getting my first smartphone in 2016 only exacerbated the problem. I vowed not to become one of those people with their nose in their phone. Then I became one of those people.
I left Korea due to a major episode of anxiety brought on by the Gyeongju earthquake of September 2016. It wasn't really a major earthquake, but what I read about the earthquake (and Korea's building codes) combined with the sheer feeling of loss of control brought about by the ground shaking underneath you, by your home shaking underneath you, caused me to lose any sense of calm. I couldn't go to work; I didn't feel safe inside my house. It was a long struggle to sleep every night and I was terrified taking a shower. Eventually, I ended up sleeping in a tent. Clearly I had to go home.
Back in the States, I had time, money (thanks to my pension and help from relatives), but still I wasn't creating. I felt a loss of a sense of self coming home from Korea in what I felt was disgrace. I'd left my university job, left all the curriculum I'd built, the new textbook I'd written, left my friends, left my creative community in Busan where friends are still putting on inspiring theatrical productions and spoken word nights. I felt like a loser. And surely no one wants to partake of the art of losers, right?Gradually, as I went into therapy, I started making a collage or a bad drawing here and there. I began journaling. But more often than not, I watched TV, I read books, I went to art galleries. But I didn't make much art.
A year and change out from leaving Korea, and closing in on 41, I've come to the realization that if I don't make a major shift now, I may be left with a lifetime of regret. If I want to be an artist, I have to make art. If I want to be a writer, I have to write. And time is precious. So I can either binge the next new show on Netflix or I can write a short story. I can't do both at once.
I still want to consume some culture, of course. Reading can inspire writing. Movies are sometimes like old friends. TV is just plain fun. But I need to drastically change the ratio. For that reason the idea came to me to create/consume at a ratio of 75/25. So, for example, for every 45 minutes I create something, I can consume 15 minutes of a book, TV show or movie. I didn't do the math before coming up with this ratio - I now realize it's going to take a lot of writing if I want to watch even one episode of "Black Mirror" - but that's fine.
THE RULES:
1. I'm defining CREATING as: writing (fiction, non-fiction, personal letters, journal, blog, notes on Facebook [not a short post]), visual arts (drawing, collaging, painting, even coloring with crayons, photography, crafting), performances (theater, singing, dancing [singing and dancing at home may be counted if they are done to practice for quality or as art]). I don't knit, crochet, etc. or I'd count that. I'm debating including making baked goods, but I'm not sure yet.
2. I'm defining CONSUMING as: watching TV/movies/news/Youtube videos, listening to podcasts, reading books/magazines/newspapers/social media feeds and comments. I haven't decided whether to count art galleries as consuming yet. This is mainly because I do it rarely enough that it doesn't seem to interfere with creating things and because I'm almost always inspired to make something after leaving one. It's also a good social activity. We'll see. Listening to music doesn't count because for me it never really interferes with creating. If there aren't words it's easy to write or collage at the same time. If there are words I'm usually singing, which I count as being creative.
3. EXCEPTIONS:
- Work is a free space. On breaks at work I can consume, because the breaks are too short to really create anything anyhow, and reading in particular helps the day go by.
- Optional 10 minutes a day of Buddhist/self-help reading is allowed because it supports mental health.
- If I need to look up information on my smartphone related to logistics, events, recipes or health, I can.
- I can also look at recipes for a reasonable amount of time for meal-planning and preparation purposes.
- I can check my e-mail and respond to it. I can read messages or letters from friends.
4. DURATION - for now the month of December. At the end of the month, we'll see how we're doing and adjust as needed.
Anyway, this is my program. Wish me luck! I'm hoping that I will end up creating a lot of great stuff this month. At the very least, I think not being on the internet all the time will be beneficial to my life. If you have any comments or questions feel free to drop them here!
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